One of the best scenes in a prime time comedy is when Sheldon Cooper knocks on neighbor Penny's door. **Knock Knock ** "Penny." **Knock Knock ** "Penny." **Knock Knock ** "Penny." Wash, Rinse, Repeat. Penny opens the door in exasperation and Sheldon tends to need something very important to him, but very much benign to everyone else, especially Penny. This exact scene is what it feels like to be a mother with a child and Mom has to, you know, take a moment to herself, slip out of the room, and [pee]. I don't like to say that word too loudly, because if The Child finds out that I may have to dip out of the room for a moment to do something extremely private and extremely By Myself and Without Her, then woe unto me. And why did I not know exactly about this problem area when we were thinking of having a kid? Surely I did this to my own mother (poor woman!). If the child knows, then she will need something very Sheldon-like and whatever it is will need to happen right now and not later.
I propose that a topic be added to sex education courses that should serve as a warning to any woman who is even considering procreation. All issues that concern water need to be addressed. Peeing, specifically, but not limited to, especially when it comes to also bathing, washing dishes, or drinking wine, of course. (There is a natural progression.)
Women have to know that when you become a mother, you may not be able to pee by yourself for the first twelve years of the child's life. If multiple children are born, then forget about taking that intimate time without having at least a conversation through the door. Why it could be years before the poor woman pees by herself (and in silence) again!
"Mom, are you in there? Mom, what are you doing? Mom? Mom, why won't you answer me? MOM?!"
Why don't dads have this same issue, or why is this underreported with fathers? I do not know. Perhaps there are some dads who are brave and willing to share their stories of no-pee privacy. Perhaps we can share battle stories
**Knock Knock** "Mom?"