6.29.2012

Sex Education

One of the best scenes in a prime time comedy is when Sheldon Cooper knocks on neighbor Penny's door.  **Knock Knock ** "Penny."  **Knock Knock ** "Penny."  **Knock Knock ** "Penny." Wash, Rinse, Repeat. Penny opens the door in exasperation and Sheldon tends to need something very important to him, but very much benign to everyone else, especially Penny.  This exact scene is what it feels like to be a mother with a child and Mom has to, you know, take a moment to herself, slip out of the room, and [pee].  I don't like to say that word too loudly, because if The Child finds out that I may have to dip out of the room for a moment to do something extremely private and extremely By Myself and Without Her, then woe unto me. And why did I not know exactly about this problem area when we were thinking of having a kid?  Surely I did this to my own mother (poor woman!).  If the child knows, then she will need something very Sheldon-like and whatever it is will need to happen right now and not later.

I propose that a topic  be added to sex education courses that should serve as a warning to any woman who is even considering procreation.  All issues that concern water need to be addressed.  Peeing, specifically, but not limited to, especially when it comes to also bathing, washing dishes, or drinking wine, of course.  (There is a natural progression.)

Women have to know that when you become a mother, you may not be able to pee by yourself for the first twelve years of the child's life.  If multiple children are born, then forget about taking that intimate time without having at least a conversation through the door. Why it could be years before the poor woman pees by herself (and in silence) again! 


"Mom, are you in there?  Mom, what are you doing?  Mom? Mom, why won't you answer me?  MOM?!"


Why don't dads have this same issue, or why is this underreported with fathers? I do not know. Perhaps there are some dads who are brave and willing to share their stories of no-pee privacy. Perhaps we can share battle stories

**Knock Knock** "Mom?"

6.28.2012

The Vampire Diaries

I think it takes the summer time and all of this time away from school for me to get interested in blogging again.  Try as I might work on a personal writing project in between being a full-time mom, a full-time homemaker, school projects for next year, I have been sucked into a phenomenon called The Vampire Diaries.  If you haven't seen the series (whomever you may be!), look it up.  Google's a wonderful invention.  First of all, I am a believer in the old school vampire.  No sparkles.  No sunlight.  Pasty-white skin.  Weird accent.  Sometimes they're sexy and sometimes they're old with bad hair.  I did my best to accept the even hotter version of the 21st century vamp, but couldn't do Meyer's sparkly beings that could survive sunlight even if it was in a rainy climate of Washington state.  But here came along Netflix and seasons of this show that screamed Watch Me!  I put on my Alice hat and took the Watch Me bottle. The Stefan vampire was cute and his brother Damon was even cuter.  Deeper into the show, I noticed there was a distinct character issue Stefan had with the love of his life, Elena Gilbert.  Every emotional, physical, spiritual, break-a-nail-ial problem Elena had, Stefan was right there with his hand on her neck and cheek with a breathy question of, "Are you okay?" Elena is confronted by her doppelganger. "Are you okay?"  Elena drops a pencil and the lead breaks.  "Elena.  Are you ... O. Kay?"

Anyway, I'm having fun with the soapy drama, but I'm sure I'm not supposed to laugh and giggle.