Sex Lives of the Roman Emperors

The last day of spring break vacation and the whole thing barely seemed like vacation at all. Dale worked, and I played stay-at-home mom. I did the mom thing: laundry, vacuuming, food, taking care of every need of the child who seemed directly attached to my hip bone. And of course it rained almost the entire time.

My husband, bless his heart, had vacation the following week (he goes back to work tomorrow). On my last day, he tells me that he and Em will do something and I can have an afternoon to myself.


They left the house. I stood in the middle of the living room and thought, "What is it that I do on my own, anyway?"

I finished a movie I had started during naptime. I read two paragraphs in a book; whereas, before with The Child, I'd only have made it through two sentences before hearing, "Mama, look at this," or "Mama, see what I did."

I went to the protein powder store.

And then I went to Barnes and Noble. I didn't feel the rush that I usually felt when shopping there. I mean, what's the point? It would take me two years or so to read a book two sentences at a time. I've had a new Stephen King book since Christmas and I think I'm only on page 25. Absurd! But as I headed out the store and into the bargain book section, a title struck me: Sex Lives of the Roman Emperors. You should have been in my head!

What a curiosity!

If I pick up that book, will one of my students suddenly be here. They'll see the book, assume I'm reading it and I'll never hear the end of it.

If I pick up that book, do I really want to know about the sex life of an emperor?

If I pick up that book, will I find out if someone really made that statue that's pictured on the cover?

Oh, look, there's a Knitting for Dummies right over there.

Crap. I don't need to know anything. School starts tomorrow.

That's the synopsis of the most important junk that was going through my head. Intriguing, I know. The week back at school was fine, except for dealing with the Monday blues. Kids were angry that we actually had school on a Monday.

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