And WHY is it wrong to have wine at breakfast?

Here's a story that needs to somehow be included in CSI: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13626398/. It's about an 80-year-old woman who wouldn't let the police come in because she said her mother was sleeping. Well. . . apparently she had one heck of a nap because she'd been dead for at least three years and there was only a corpse in the bed. Police think it is the woman's 98-year-old mother. They were there with a search warrant due to a handful of violations, death not being one of them, however.


Protein Treat

I am severely limiting carbs for my meals 4, 5 & 6, but sometimes, I just need to nibble on something, and it usually ends up being bad and starts a whole round of cravings that I didn't really want. I had made Dale a lemon meringue pie for Father's Day, and usually I don't like l.m. pie, but the meringue just about blew me over. I didn't even know that I liked meringue! Then, of course, I started thinking about meringue cookies that any bakery sells. Those little dingers sound healthy, but are so filled with sugar that the insulin spike could send you to the moon. I found myself dreaming about them (at least it wasn't another pathetic school-anxiety dream!), so I figured it was time to come up with my own recipe with apologies now if someone has already come up with this and I'm too dense or lazy to go looking for it. Below is what I came up with. More fiddling is necessary, but these served for the nibbling purpose.

8 egg whites
1/3 Cup Splenda (perhaps could go to 1/2 cup on this)
1 Tablespoon Cream of Tartar
1 Tablespoon Vanilla

Whip egg whites, cream of tartar and vanilla with electric mixer on high until soft peaks form. Sloooooowly add in Splenda and whip like a mad dog until stiff peaks form. Do not under whip.

Note: Every person's "whip like a mad dog" look will vary.

Spoon out whipped stuff onto a cookie sheet that has been sprayed with cooking spray. Bake at 275 for 50 minutes. Turn off oven, but keep cookies in for another hour. I was able to get two dozen medium-sized cookies out of the 8 egg whites.

Serving size: 1 cookie
Calories: 5
Carbs: 0 grams
Protein: 1 gram

I thought about adding a little bit of brown sugar (just a little bit!) to give it a caramel flavor. I'm sure other flavorings added to the recipe would give it more unique flavors.


Grammar Pet Peeve

First of all, I am totally amazed that after all of the poor grammar I grew up listening to that I have turned out to be an English teacher. My mom and her group of country-singin', redneck-lovin' git-tar playin' folk wouldn't string a grammatically correct sentence together on purpose if you gave them a million dollars. In fact, they'd probably look at you and say, "We don't got no need for none of that money, honey." My mom's the smartest mom I know (Hi, Mom!) and she knows a whole lot about language because her English teacher in high school made her class diagram sentences over and over, and my mother could still diagram a sentence if she could sit (a spell) and think about it. No need to do so, however. But as far as that knowledge goes, we were still surrounded with double negatives, split infinitives and ending sentences with prepositions.

I don't usually have a problem with ending a sentence with a preposition, but there is one that causes my insides to wither: "Are you coming with?" or "Is she/he coming with?"

WITH WHOM??? Me? Us? I've never believed that the object of the preposition needs to be understood like "You" can be understood and consequently left out of the sentence.

I don't usually care about other prepositions, but this one bothers me. And really, there is no strict "rule" that sentences just CAN'T end in prepositions. If the sentence has an object (noun or pronoun) earlier in the sentence, then it's okay to end in a prep. And then we'd need to get into phrasal verbs that look like prepositions but are actually acting as verbs. . . but we won't.

A DaVinci Code question for those who think that a writer in the Bible just left out Jesus' wedding and He really did marry Mary...
If the people who wrote the Bible thought it was important enough to put in that Jesus attended a wedding, do you think that they'd think it was important to write that Jesus was the groom of a wedding? When Jesus attended a wedding of a friend, the writer of that book was pointing out the miracle of turning water into wine. Think if Jesus had had his own wedding, oh the miracles that could ensue there.

I'm being a brat, but the argument that Jesus really was married and it was just left out of the Bible because nobody wrote about it is silly. The DaVinci Code is a work of fiction.


Top Dads, Hula Hooping and Sliding into the Baptismal

CNN.com posted the "The 10 Funniest Movie Dads" but also added in the phrase "role models" right alongside it. When the very first dad we read about is Jim's Dad from the movie American Pie (1999) and played by Eugene Levy, I have a problem with the role model part. When I think of role models, I like to not think of a "good" dad giving his son sexual pointers along with a slice of porn. During last Sunday's church service (holy moly, pardon the pun, Sunday was YESTERday--this day has just about dragged itself to death), Pastor Jim mentioned a movie scene--but not American Pie--of Michael Keaton greeting his wife's dinner-date (a working dinner, of course, and not the woman's father--work with me here) while in dirty work clothes, goggles and a chain saw. You can rest assured that when Emily is ready to date that her father will probably take up some sort of shooting in some sort of capacity.

CNN's Entertainment Top 10:

Eugene Levy as Jim's dad in American Pie.
Professor Henry Jones Sr, Sean Connery, Indy's daddy in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
Armand and Albert Goldman, Robin Williams and Nathan Lane from The Birdcage. Armand runs a Miami drag club, and Albert stars in the revue there.
Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, in National Lampoon's Vacation.
Sonny Koufax, Adam Sandler, in Big Daddy.
Royal Tenenbaum, Gene Hackman, in The Royal Tenenbaums.
Sheldon Korpett and Vince Ricardo, Alan Arkin and Peter Falk, in The In-Laws.
Gil Buckman, Steve Martin, in Parenthood.
Old Man Dunphy, Alec Baldwin, in Outside Providence.
Bernie Focker, Dustin Hoffman, in Meet the Fockers.

Really, I liked Dustin Hoffman much more as a woman in Tootsie than I liked him as a Focker.

My Top Ten Movie Dads:

Michael Keaton, "Jack Butler," Mr. Mom
Sean Connery, "Professor Henry Jones," Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Spencer Tracy and Steve Martin, "Stanley T. Banks" and "George Stanley Banks," Father of the Bride
Marlon Brando, "Don Vito Corleone," The Godfather
Gregory Peck, "Atticus Finch," To Kill a Mockingbird
Cary Grant, "Walter Eckland," Father Goose
Patrick Stewart "Professor X", X-Men I, II, and III (as a father figure)
Pat Morita, "Mr. Miyagi," The Karate Kid (as a father figure)
Marlon Brando, "Jor-El," Superman: The Movie
Jack Albertson, "Grandpa Joe," Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

On hula-hooping: It has only taken me 36 years, but I have achieved success today! I can now hula hoop. Man, my abs are going to hurt tomorrow, but now I want to find one of those weighted hoops that I read about in my Oxygen Magazine.

On Sliding: Dale is doing web site work for our church and he and Emily were exploring the church. One of the areas was visiting the Baptismal. Emily and Dale are where the preach stand where it's nice and dry and she peeks into the watery section. She asks, "Where's the slide?"

Don't you think a lot more people would want to be baptized if there were slides in the baptismal??


Christmas Island

Did anyone notice that Christmas Island kind of looks like a poodle?

Check it out at www.googleearth.com. You have to download the program, and it is awesome! Especially since I've learned that islands come in the shape of dogs.

Finger-lickin' Bad For You

Okay, raise your hand ('cause I'm the teacher) if you don't know that Kentucky Fried Chicken is bad for you.

Hmm. So you all knew, huh?

Another "duh" story is out wasting bandwidth about the evils of fast food, and this time KFC is in the crosshairs with a lawsuit. You can read this at http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/06/13/kfc.suit.ap/index.html. I'm sure that if KFC changed the oil from a trans-fatty oil to a regular cooking oil that the chicken would be minus heart-plugging trans-fats, but it would probably still contain a deadly amount of Trans' evil step-sister Saturated.

Much fast food isn't healthy. I think most people in the world know this, and that's why it tastes so good.

Emily Update:
Emily was playing in the sprinkler yesterday afternoon and I was talking to her about the good things that sun provides us. I told her about Vitamin D. When her daddy came home from work, I told him and he asked her which vitamin did the sun give.

"What vitamin?" she asked.
"The one the sun gives us," I replied.
"Um, I don't know!"
Her father said, "Which letter of the alphabet is it? A, B, C, D, E?"
She's zooming back and forth beneath the spray of the sprinkler, getting her hands wet so she can make handprints on the sidewalk and the porch.
"Which one?" I asked.
She stops and said, "The orange one!"
We both laugh and said, "How many suns do you know of?"

Anyway--you just had to be there. She really did know the answer but was goofing around with her mom and dad.



Found this little tidbit on www.youtube.com. At first I thought he might have been in . . . certain classes . . . at some point, but he's actually quite on the ball. He makes spaghetti and he makes rules for grocery shopping. I like it. I really do.



So you think it's the devil's day. . .

June 6, 2006; aka 666.


How does 6/6/06 get translated into 666 when it would be closer to a number such as 6,606? We're off by 5,940 to get to Satan's number if that's the case.

Yes, I live in a different world than everyone else, usually.


Crap in the Walls

When we built our house, why didn't we think to put crap in the walls so someone 100 years from now will be perplexed with the mystery of the folks who lived in this house before them? And why did people put crap in their walls 100-200 years ago? Was this some sort of fad that they went through much like listening to Ipods are today? (I predict that Ipods won't last as long as the Walkman did, and we'll have something like a Brain Chip that can be loaded with the last 50 years of music and you just plug yourself to the computer whenever you need a new download.)

Anyway... junk I would have put into our walls if I had only known:

A tape of Madonna's Ray of Light (because why would I want to listen to it anymore?)
A copy of property taxes of our house during the year 1999
My leg warmers from that horrible time for me in 1984. And 1985. And 1986...
Those VHS copies of every bad aerobics' tapes I've ever owned
Printouts of Bulletin Board System conversations (this is way before Al Gore made his invention of the Internet so public)
Malibu Barbie, nekkid
Notes from high school that never did get burned
A short story started on a napkin while sitting in a King's X

And that's about it. Should be enough to make the future owners think odd things about the former owners.

And if you should catch the program If Walls Could Talk, it can be pretty interesting--for crap in the walls.


"It's like Empire-Strikes-Back Cool" (Marshall; "Alias")

What an ending to Alias! And to think I almost missed it. I watched the May 17th episode and there was a blurb at the end that said not to miss the 2-hour series finale coming Monday.


"This coming Monday" would have been May 22nd, and I was viewing the episode before the finale on May 30th, and Tivo showed no more episodes for me to watch. I searched Tivo again. No. Nope. Nothing. Why hadn't Tivo recorded it??? I've spent the last four-and-a-half seasons being an almost-faithful viewer of the show, and I wouldn't get to see the finale?? I haven't seen half of season five because the writers of Alias departed from the Rambaldi storyline and Michael Vartan was in a contract dispute and they shot him off the show. I thought perhaps it was because Jennifer Garner wanted him shot. As soon as Vartan returned, so did I. But THANK YOU to ABC.com, I didn't have to worry about the series finale. I had resigned myself that Tivo became confused since Alias changed nights, and I'd simply read what happened online in the episode guide. Well, ABC did way better--and "It's like Empire-Strikes-Back cool" according to Marshall. ABC has every episode of Alias' Season 5 in streaming video. If I wanted to watch the non-Michael Vartan episodes, I now can. I watched the series finale in bits and pieces and clapped in serious joy as to what the writers did with Sloane.

He finally got what was due him.

Today's Workout:
Nothing. Slept in.
Felt good.